Ok, so after going to our first adoption support group meeting (APC) we had been giving all sorts of information on adoption agencies and adoption attorneys. There were guest speakers and an adoption attorney, information on upcoming larger seminars and workshops. Other couples and families pre and post adoption shared their stories too, which helped give us a clearer understanding of which way we wanted our journey to go.
The families who chose private adoption seemed very proactive, very confident and extremely involved with the daily process. They shared information about advertising and talking with expectant mother's, good and bad stories, some following expectant mom's pregnancy from the very beginning. I remember one success story standing out in particular (thinking to myself I don't think I could do it how they did...ie. google ad words)! Also there were agency families. These couples basically go through the home study process and wait for the agency to connect them with an expectant mother, hopefully not having any bad stories. When you are with an agency they are the ones screening situations for you, connecting you towards the end of the pregnancy, in hopes of protecting you from any disappointment (failed placement).
In the beginning, we were not confident in ourselves speaking with expectant moms. Honestly...I was terrified. Making it an easy decision for my husband and myself, that we felt more confident using agency adoption. At the time I was sure that we would get the perfect situation quickly. I really thought we are ready to be parents and it should happen right away. oh boy was I wrong! Not to mention the first agency that we went into contract with did not allow us to also work on our own. If you did, you would be responsible to pay them in full anyway for an adoption they actually did not place. I learned years later that all agencies are not like that.
I really hope my insight helps stay tuned for my next post...[The Agency Wait]